When given a choice between a straightforward solution to a problem or an incredibly complicated one that is extremely difficult and almost impossible to execute the OB&C goes for the latter every time. Take for example the problem of the storage of a canoe under the front porch. The dimly lit space is jammed full of unused crap that has long outlived any usefulness, if there had been any: a vinyl hot tub cover for a non-existent tub, dozens of tomato cages, several galvanized wash tubs, a flat boat without a motor or oars, a homemade car rack, oh, and another canoe. So he decided that the absolute best way to store the canoe2 would be to drill holes in the ceiling joists above the existing canoe, screw in four massive eye hooks and contrive two slings near the ceiling in which canoe2 would hang. I suggested that perhaps a couple of saw horses astride the present canoe on which to lay canoe2 might be an easier solution. Hell no, not on my watch! … so off to the hardware store for the required rope, screws, drill bit, knot manual, etc.…well there was trouble before he got out of the starting gate. While trying to mount the ladder to screw the first hole he tripped on the leg and fell down on a bunch of pointed stuff and had to repair to the bathroom to bandage his arm, his leg and to ice down his elbow. Undeterred, he finally got his slings slung and on to the next step: hauling a canoe the size of a ’63 Buick and weighing in at about 1.5 tons and hoisting it above our heads to slip into the slings, all while navigating a minefield of junk. And who’d a thunk it? Surprise!…the slings were too small and the canoe wouldn’t fit. So down it came. Two hernias and a thrown back later we regrouped, which translated into I am no longer part of this exercise. In the end the OB&C got his canoe slung and now we sit and wait and wonder when those ropes are going to give out and simultaneously destroy both of the damned things.