the nuclear option

by myjaundicedeye

the nuclear option-1

MJE is a forward-looking malcontent and really doesn’t like to rehash old dustups, but this one deserves a mention.

Besides the chemo business, things have been pretty quiet since Albatross threw Krylon on the back of her broomstick and flew back west. However, Albatross would never, ever go gently into the night. She’d make sure that before she left she would, through sheer grit and determination, find whatever happy family activity that might possibly survive her dark aura, and detonate one of her signature emotional nuclear warheads. Her greatest wish would be to leave every member of the tribe feeling like Nagasaki had been amateur night. Such was the case with the last evening of her visit.

Our family unit was watching that pornographic blood bath known as Game of Thrones, which Albatross found suitable viewing material for six year Krylon. Things were gurgling along smartly from beheading to dismemberment to rape and torture when the catapult ran off the rails. Admittedly the OB&C is the last person on earth anyone would want to watch television or a movie with. He comments on every line, scene, set, you name it, if Siskel and Ebert mated with Gollum they’d have the OB&C.

So, the commentary was non-stop from the OB&C peanut gallery, “That woman couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag.“ “Are we supposed to believe that ‘s real, what do they take us for, idiots?” “Who wrote this dialogue, some third grader?” One by one the members of the unit took their leave, until it was just Albatross, Krylon and the OB&C. The scene had the unsteady look of a wobbly vial of nitroglycerin primed to blow everything to smithereens. It wasn’t a matter of if, was a matter of how soon.

There wasn’t much of wait I’ll give it that. Albatross stood up, put her face within inches of OB&C’s and screamed at the top of her substantial lungs   “Shut the f***k up! The OB&C folded like a cheap suitcase and slunk out of the room with Albatross on his heels bellowing epithets.

Krylon never blinked an eye. The epic battles of the seven kingdoms of Westeros are apparently a whole lot more soothing than life back home.