by myjaundicedeye

ring tone

While I was waiting to have the doc check my (now deaf) ears after coming out of the gas chamber this week her phone rang. The ring tone is the theme from The Exorcist. I commented that it seemed an odd choice for someone conducting ear exams instead of throwing demons out of the possessed. She agreed that was a dark choice for a doc. To which I say hell yes sista! That’ll give your patients something to chew on during their interminable stretches in the waiting room.

MJE sees ring tones as something of a window into the soul. Years ago I had Bandoliera-Saturnalia program my ring tone to be “Built Like a Brick S***t House by the Commodores. I could get my entire check out line, the cashier and the assistant manager at the Pig funking it up by the second ring. Sadly when I traded in the phone I lost my funkadelic vibe along with it. I had B-S program my next phone to ring “Come on Over to My House” by Rosemary Clooney, a saucy song from the 50’s that Rosemary belts out in a phony Italian accent. If Rosemary tried that today she’d be the target of an Italian-American Anti-Defamation league boycott for sure.

The OB&C programmed our house phone to have personal ring tones for different callers so you know without hoisting yourself out of your barcolounger who was on the other end trying to bother you. The options are pretty limited but he did the best he could with what he had. For our in-house republican, son Nute, he chose “God Bless America,” the OB&C assigned himself “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and B-S was given Beethoven’s “Fur Elise” which seems a bit somber for a bohemian twenty-something. I have chosen not to call the house from my cell as I believe that selective ignorance is vital to a happy life.

However, if I had to put money down, I’d bet that mine is the theme from Jaws.