by myjaundicedeye

a trip to the big city

MJE finally broke out of the gas tank and hot footed it up to the big city to visit Bandoleira-Saturnalia for a few days. Always good to monitor one’s investments. This one is apparently sound but not yet yielding any monetary returns. I suppose I should take the long view which is what my broker always says when I have just invested a chunk of change and the market drops 300 points. I don’t worry because I can apparently create currency out of thin air, like Bitcoin, which I completely do not understand but if it allows me to buy a nice piece of bling and pay for it with monopoly money then sign me up.

But I digress, B-S and I had a grand time. I stayed at a highly overpriced hotel specializing in rooms so small you have to store your suitcase under the bed (which they thoughtfully made high enough off the floor to accommodate a good sized suitcase). They describe the meager size of the rooms as being “Parisian.” Excusez moi, Monsieur Hotelier, square footage is square footage whether you’re in Paris or Peoria. Plus housekeeping never made it to the room one day despite its being empty from 9am until 5:30pm. When I called the front desk to complain they asked if I’d like someone to come right now, WTF??? I’d been hoofing it all over gotham city for hours, why would I want some overworked and underpaid filipino changing the sheets while I stand in the shower stall. Then the “manager” of the hotel called and haughtily asked if I had specifically requested that the room be cleaned earlier…huh, no, I assumed that it would be done within the 9 hour span of time I was not in it. Guess he thought I just fell off the turnip truck, maybe so but I did manage to ask that the bill be adjusted for my inconvenience before I hit the dirt.

Anyway, it was a glorious fall weekend, we walked the high line, swooned in Chelsea Market and went to lots of museums. FYI, if someone can paint a 4” by 4” piece of wood white and sell it to MOMA then my future in the art world is rock solid. And Jackson Pollock, don’t even get me started, I can hear him smirking from the grave. There was a massive Picasso retrospective, but frankly a little bit goes a long way. I haven’t seen that much deconstruction since the OB&C, in a fit of pique took a chain saw to the yew trees in the front yard and we ended up with three 5’ totem poles and a mountain of dismembered limbs.

I was sadly underwhelmed with the big city food, which, coming from New Orleans is a chronic condition. However I have to give the server at one joint props for menu item description. They featured fluke, which I thought was either a parasitic worm or a whale’s tale, neither of which seemed especially appetizing. But according to said server a fluke is “a flat, low energy fish.” MJE has zero interest in the relative energy level of anything I am planning to consume as long as it’s inactive when served, but I would at least like to know what it is. Turns out the featured fluke is a summer flounder. For god’s sake call a spade a spade and bring the me the paper on which is written descriptions and prices of available fermented grape beverages, pronto.