BYOT

by myjaundicedeye

BYOT.jpgStephen Colbert had a rant the other night about the GOPers going nucking futs in their insane attempts to out Islamophobe one another. Their first volley was that we don’t have enough vetting to prevent Syrian terrorists from getting into the country despite the two year long vetting program that’s already in place. Therefore we absolutely do not want to grant asylum to any Syrians, who are themselves being terrorized, no way no how. Not even small children who are orphans, because they are almost certainly also terrorists.

Well Stephen, in this case I have to regrettably admit that MJE is onboard with the GOPer’s “children can be terrorists too” argument. It just so happens that we have a home grown three year old terrorist in our very family. None other than “she who must be obeyed”, Decibelle. You think negotiating with ISIS is impossible, fuggetaboutit. I would personally bet Donald Trump’s hair product allotment on our pint sized stick of dynamite being able to bring ISIS to its knees, beg for mercy and become Episcopalians. And fast. God bless John Kerry, but you gotta fight fire with fire and Decibelle is a fricking inferno.

Case in point, son Knot comes home from work and walks into the den to kiss his little yum yum and to lovingly inquire as to how her day went. Decibelle is, come d’habitude, completely absorbed in some piece of Disney tripe that she has seen a thousand times. Instead of jumping up and running to her dear father and giving him a hug and a kiss she, without turning her head or saying a word, simply points her finger toward the door in dismissal. If that doesn’t send a strong enough message she utters one word. Out.

To this MJE says. Oh no you don’t! Clamp down on the kid! To which Knot says they do but she just clamps down harder. And she has the endurance of a drugged up Lance Armstrong. In the end Knot says he usually just throws in the towel and ends up apologizing to her. MJE ain’t clairvoyant but this is not going to be pretty. Wait until she’s twelve. Knot and his wife will probably cash in all their airline miles, decamp for the middle east, join ISIS and feel like they’re at Club Med.

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