conald and co.

by myjaundicedeye


Okay, so MJE and the OB&C were having dinner with friends the other night…it was a 4-4 tie politically. MJE knew that going in and thought I’d just keep my powder dry and wait for someone else to launch the first salvo. My good pal grinapple stepped up to the plate within minutes…a lifelong repub (although his father served as a high ranking member of jimma carter’s admin), he is a well-educated, thoughtful, caring person as well as being a raconteur of the highest order in typical southern tradition. He doesn’t like the conald but he can’t stand shrillary and he he is desperate to see the fetid governmental swamp in washington drianed. He put forth an argument that there have been unprepared, inexperienced people elected president in the past but that they governed responsibly by selecting capable, thoughtful, professional governmental veterans to advise and tutor them.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the people with whom the conald has surrounded himself, a motley crew to be sure. Let’s start with his most trusted confidants and advisers the children of the corn (COTC) (see: Stephen King 1984 Thriller): ivanka, conald jr. and eric, offspring from his first marital foray. Unusual move, but they share his values and ethics so that’s something.

Next up we have corey lewandowski, a former bar bouncer (unverified but with the conald we live in a fact free zone and the core-man sure looks the part) whom he named as his original campaign manager. Perfect choice, as he had no experience running a political campaign, much less at the presidential level, just like his boss. He did however once work for a congressman ney who ended up in the clink over involvement in the abramoff scandal. He was also arrested and charged for bringing a loaded handgun (in his laundry bag) into the longworth house office building. Hey, I’m down with that, I always pack heat when I do my laundry (in my office). Plus he’s polish and we know what a sweet tooth the conald has for those eastern europeans…

After the COTC staged an intervention in the hopes that they might get big daddy to step back from the ledge and start acting like a real presidential contender instead of a deranged hamster, he reluctantly pivoted, sacked the core-man and took on kellyanne conway as campaign manager. An experienced operative, and one heck of a smiler, she is a perfect counterpoint to the conald’s perpetually pursed lips and scowling countenance. God help that poor wretch, imagine what her job is like…desperately trying to reason with the equivalent of an hormonally imbalanced temper tantrum-prone teenager who is fully prepared to burn down the house rather than clean his room.

Next up we have steve bannon, who is the “chief executive” of the conald’s campaign and who is also the chief executive of breitbart news, an organization that is on a perpetual witch hunt for voter fraud. But in a case of breathtaking irony, mr b is registered to vote at a house in florida which is abandoned and due to be demolished. Prior to that he registered himself using his ex-wife’s address, where he never lived…both residences happen to be in highly contested precincts in florida. Bannon is the conald whisperer hissing into his ear that should he lose it will be because of widespread voter fraud and a rigged system, something about which he knows.

Last but not by any means least we have roger ailes, who was recently forced to resign as head of fox news over multiple allegations (and a lawsuit) of sexual misconduct and who now has joined the campaign as an advisor. Frankly, MJE considers the mere sight of his repulsive mug as sexual harassment, which makes him a perfect ba-da-bing to the conald’s ba-da-bang whoever, wherever, whenever.

In electing the conald as president MJE likens it to trying to effect radical change to a dysfunctional mental health system by throwing out the experienced, but ineffective administrator and appointing the craziest inmate you can find to run the joint.