MJE is relaxing in a periwinkle blue recliner getting infused. And I’m not talking about with the holy spirit either. And from the looks of it am glad because if this place is what the kingdom of heaven looks like then I’m taking a U turn at the next opportunity.

My fellow infusiasts look like a mixture of cast members of night of the living dead and the actually very nearly dead. They are accompanied by their bored caregivers who seem decidedly unenthusiastic about having been roped into this cheerless duty. Fortunately even the most seemingly cretinous among them has figured out how to furiously negotiate his or her mobile devices and kill off even more brain cells on mind numbing games and celebrity gossip during the course of the their charges’ treatments.

The atmosphere is further enhanced by the constant blare of the television set, currently offering up Hoda Kotbe (who used to be a great local news anchor in New Orleans before she sold out for a Today show gig) and Kathie Lee Somebody who speak at a volume and pace that is both frightening and incomprehensible. Apparently their shtick is to drink “booze” out of their coffee cups during the show which is highly implausible given the over caffeinated dialogue. Besides, if you are going to drink from first light then own it girl. Ditch the mugs, open a real bottle of wine and chin chin.

Their cast of “guests” so far have been some sort of over gelled and highlighted guy shilling his latest “project.” Which from what I gathered was not an international peace intitative. Now we’re being offered a zookeeper asking audience members questions about different animals. Each contestant is more vacant than the last. Next to going to Walmart, this is the most depressing view into American culture I have had the misfortune to witness. Unfortunately we infusiasts apparently have no control over the video content we are force-fed. All I can say is it’s better than the Fox news I am subjected to at the dentist. A root canal without novacaine.