Well girls, your time has come and hopefully so will you with the new female sexual enhancement drug “Addi!” Addi! is now available by prescription for women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or HSDD (to protect the squeamish grandchildren.) Women with HSDD suffer with severe lack of sexual desire (not the slightly less severe variety experienced by approximately 99.9% of post-menopausal women.) And only “specially trained” docs are allowed to write scripts. MJE would love to see the syllabus for that little seminar. Suggested screening questions:
How long has it been since you gave a rat’s ass about having sex?
A. months B. years C. decades.
If you answered A or B you aren’t sick enough.
What is it about your annoying, middle aged, balding, overweight partner that no longer arouses you?
Answer: all of the above.
Addi! Is manufactured by Sprout Pharmaceuticals (which seems a more appropriate name for an ED drug maker) and was twice rejected by the FDA for dangerous side effects until Sprout waged a campaign titled “Even The Score.” Now you too can drop dead of a heart attack during sex! Let’s hope he notices.
Addi! will be heavily marketed during the The View, the Today show and The Bold and the Beautiful by scantily clad, newly frisky geriatrics But cool your jets girlfriends, Addi! is not for everyone. “If someone has low sexual desire because they hate their partner, sex hurts and their life is a mess … the pill is not going to help them,” said Dr. Lauren Streicher of Northwestern University. Uh oh.
Furthermore, Addi! and alcohol don’t mix. My guess is that booze lands more people in the sack than any pink pill might. Just think about being stone cold sober the next time you want a roll in the hay with Addi! Seriously, think about it.