my jaundiced eye

the absurdities of life

Category: Pope Francis

is frank feeling the bern?

is frank feeling the bern

Bernie’s headed to the Vatican! Holy cow, did anybody bother to tell him that there aren’t any delegates there? Maybe he’s he hoping for a bit of divine intervention in the upcoming primaries? Or trying to woo the roman catholic vote? Well good luck with that, since he’s loudly pro-choice which I’m guessing is a deal breaker with that crowd. Plus he’s not even going to meet with il papa, and I hate to tell him but the line to get into the Sistine chapel is going to eat up the better part of a day. The good news (I guess in the Vatican all news is the good news) is that MJE knows a great trattoria about two blocks away. The tagliatelle alla boscaiola is to die for.

So what gives? I guess bernie’s a major frank fanboy. His battle cry that inequality is the root of all evil is a clear shout out to the catholic (or as is pronounced in new orleans “cat-lick”) handbook. MJE’s gonna give bernie a hall pass on that one, because hey he’s jewish, so from what does he know to quote the bible? Actually the good book, for Christians that is, says that the love of money is the root of all evil (1 timothy 6:10). see: trump, donald j. Or maybe he’s just had it up to his crazy hair with the whole “who’s qualified” to be president fracas he’s been waging with Hillary. God knows (hence the visit to the Vatican) the exhausted geezer needs a time out, grab a few days to chillax, take in the highlights of rome (MJE offers a bit of advice. Get a really good guide, it’s so worth the money, especially if you’re pressed for time.) eat some divine (ha ha) italian food, wash it down with a good chianti and maybe go wild and finish the evening with an ice cold limoncello. Talk about feeling the bern.

MJE looks forward to seeing bernie’s instagram pix of the trip and desperately hopes that there’s a selfie with frank in there somewhere.




solar pope

solar pope

MJE doesn’t like to beat a dead horse vis a vis religion, but a friend sent me a solar powered pope today in honor of his holiest’s visit to South America and just couldn’t resist. First, a wise geographic move il papa, since there are only two continents worth your time, the one you’re on and Africa. They’re the last places on earth that still get ginned up by roman catholicism. Good thing they’ve got short memories about colonization and entire indigenous populations wiped out by the missionaries’ bible borne diseases. And they probably also aren’t totally up to speed on all the whole priest abuse thing, which of course wasn’t your fault, but just saying. MJE would place molto blamo at the red prada shod feet of your predecessor Benny, who turned a blind eye and definitely looked like a nazi. Even I, who doesn’t believe in the supernatural (ghosts maybe, but holy ghosts, no) and therefore doesn’t have a dog in this hunt was still glad to see the back side of that mitre. But it was sort of chicken shit of him to creep off to retirement (on the pesos of those peasants you’ve been proselytizing to in the Andes) when the going got tough. I thought popes were in it for life, but leave it to a german to make up his own rules.

But back to my personal pope. He looks like Frank and does the pope wave (which coincidentally is a lot like QE II’s royal hand swivel, both of which seem to require the bare minimum exertion) but only when he’s in bright sunlight. When he’s in the dark I don’t know what he does, but he doesn’t wave. But even if he did, it’s a whole lot better than what a heap of other Vatican-validated guys did where the sun don’t shine.

Frank does seem like a solid guy, working hard trying to drag the first estate over to thinking with the left sides of their brains in order to get to the right side of some important issues. It takes a lot of guts to tell your flock that they, god’s signature creation, the one he made in his own image, is primarily responsible for dangerously fouling its planetary nest and putting all of god’s handiwork at risk.

God, we all understand that it’s a total bitch to have to go back and fix what many believe was your best work, and which was totally finished 6000 years ago, but you might want to take a quick look, if you have a sec.